Protecting Our Advocates


August 4, 2005


Some of us in these groups have seen it happen. We do our best to advocate for a client, in spite of the fact that the client will not follow our guidance. We advise these wounded souls, "Don't cuss out the caseworker," and "Choose between your drugs and your kids." "Your drugs tests had better be clean," and "Control your temper, be polite at all times," and "Don't give them anything to use against you." And what do these clients do? They call up the caseworker several times a day and issue threats and call them names. They continue to use drugs or drink. They lose their tempers and end up committed to psych wards. They make stupid, irrational arguments and give away strategies. They open their big mouths no matter how many times we tell them to shut up and become loose cannons. They reveal information that can be twisted against them. They refuse to document properly. They refuse to follow our advice. The advocates are burdenend with massive damage control as a result.


We need to remember that many of these people are unstable. We can't be sure they were unstable before their children were removed or if the removal made then unstable. All we can be sure of is that this instability is potentially dangerous for us individually. This conduct can also reflect badly on the Institute.


Unstable clients can be detected by their refusal to follow our directions and their blind refusal accept responsibility for their own actions or inactions that harmed their case. Everything is someone else's fault, the case worker, the GAL, their own lawyer or even their advocate. They may become abusive toward anyone. Frequently, these people have some of the best, most airtight cases, but they often become their own worst enemy and destroy their own cases with their irrational and uncontrolled actions. It's almost like a death wish This can turn against the advocate, especially if the client loses his case and his children. We are easy targets for their blame. An unstable client will invariably indulge his own emotions, seeking to hurt those who he thinks hurt him.


There is currently a situation in one group where a client is blaming the advocate for her TPR. This mom is a drug user, who never stopped using drugs, even after her kids were taken. She has issued threats against the advocate and the advocate is fearful of her and her children's safety. "She knows where I live." This is not the first time this has happened in my experience. The history of advocates who fear retaliation from clients or even other advocates extends as far back as my experience takes me. Advocates and clients cite fears of being turned in to CPS and other governmental agencies by these unstable allies-turned-enemies.


Your best protection against this is to protect your privacy and your home. Never allow a client to come to your home. Never reveal private information. I'd even advise that you extend that policy to other advocates for your own protection. Take your time before trusting another advocate - some have been known to turn on other advocates when there is a falling out between them. It's disgusting, I know, but it happens. It is always safer to meet in a public place. Don't put your family or friends at risk by revealing private information about them to anyone. We have to assume we have plenty of enemies who will stop at nothing to hurt us personally. These enemies will find a former ally who is willing to divulge whatever they know, whatever you revealed to them in confidence when you were both on good terms.


There are certain characteristics which should raise a red flag with you:


    * refusal or failure to follow instructions or guidance

    * blaming everybody else for losing their kids and refusing to acknowledge their actions or inactions which prevent reunification

    * demanding a 'silver bullet' to fix their problem and refusing to put in the effort required to fight their case - expecting you to do it all for them

    * threats against anyone

    * verbal and/or physical abuse toward anyone

    * withholding important information about their case or about their ianppropriate conduct from you

    * asking prying questions about your personal life or about what you do as an advocate

    * demanding your attention too much, calling at all hours

    * any kind of stalking behavior

    * disrespecting you

    * expecting you to do something deceitful or unethical


Our trained advocates are not punching bags for abusive clients or other advocates. You have the discretion to remove yourself from any case without fear of retribution.. You have no obligation to stay on a case when the client won't follow your advice or directions. It's ok to say, "One more dirty or missed UA, and I'm off the case." Sometimes, it is safer to distance ourselves sooner rather than later.


This movement is filled with kooks - both clients and 'advocates.' We have no choice but to become more protective of our personal privacy to protect ourselves from retaliation.


Family Rights Advocacy Institute


Copyright ©2005 Suzanne Shell